ive been hiding myself from you

and i'm quiet now because i can't tell you anything anymore.


please visit tumblr's and web.
at least we can still be friends this way.

how do you know which feeling is real

for me
it's hard to always be me
what i mean is
i'm always me
but it's hard to keep a smile when you don't feel it
or have to talk about pointless things when you don't wanna say anything
or be in situation to laugh at your friends stories,
which in fact must be interesting, but you have no energy




and lately i feel i'm always missing a piece
and i cant stand straight, like i'm missing some toes
or see straight,
or hear right
or something

mostly, i don't know where my light is
.
things just zoom right past me.
and i don't even care.




must be phase.

after work foto by sho

at work

god this is awful

i feel bad for most things i do
and everything i don't do
and things i want to change
but can't

i been painting acrylics again lately, a change from pen pencil crayons markers gouache.

its nice to be able to take anger out on strokes and strokes and strokes and let it become something soft.

most of the girls i've been painting predominantly get covered in white paint in the end.
although i'm not so eager and excited about the flowers in the background as i should be, i couldn't bring myself to erase the unfinished flowers.

i became tired by the time i got to this.

sometimes i forget to finish a drawing.
i , uh, forgot to fill in the letters.
fuck

two

FLOWER BED LET ME SLEEP 
 SMELL SO STRONG I DONT WAKE UP 
PETALS SO SOFT I DONT WAKE UP 
COLORS SO PERFECT I DONT WAKE UP

where are they???????????????

dear xxx, 

 i am so sad that i am supposed to be an adult
and i am so struggling , caring about too many unnecessary things.
help me do things i was meant to do. 
help me to enjoy time again
and help me to sleep in that time again
help me to be able to be by myself
and to be me only.
i forget often of so many things, because there are too many things to do.
i want to sleep.

sunday morning

good bye aiko --- photo arigato mr tokio

here is the story of my life.

girls of cdg

in paris show room of junya watanabe.

i could get used to yellow

Hedi always eats my freshest flowers. his favorites are roses, baby's breaths, peonies, and dehlias.

Bobby's bathroom.

happy birthday, sensei

french fries in france

i will finish you soon

hedi and sho bff4eva

comme des garçons spring 2013 dream girl

Heaven, heaven is a place, a place where nothing, nothing ever happens 

daddy long legs

tatzu nishi

cdg white drama exhibition last look at this collection live..was one day ago in paris.

Comme des Garçons spring 2013 show in paris.

she's the one